i mean, the practical part.
the one where i am required to teach a group of students whatever i've planned to teach for the whole 25 minutes.
needless to say, it was a disaster.
i am terribly upset of the outcome
ok, i must admit that i didn't prepare myself enough for this task.
i thought it would be easy
THE BOOK make it sound so easy
but the truth is, in real life,
it is not that simple
to apply the knowledge and the theory is not as easy as memorising and understanding the theory.
geez.
now i know why the unemployment rate in Malaysia is very high.
you can score as many A+ (s) as you want in university,
at the end,
they will judge you based on your work perfomance
-how can you apply your knowledge in real life situation?
(i've done many interviews (thank god only online interviews) last year. as a sales assitant etc. and let me tell you, the questions are HARD. well at least for me, it is. example, a customer ask for something that has not been put outside(in the store) yet but it is in stock. what will you do? honestly, i have no idea!! if i say i will ask the manager about it first they will think that you're too dependent. if i say i sell it to that custome anyway, they might say that you're not supposed to do that because the item has not been checked yet ke wateverla. if is say that the item that he's looking for is out of stock, they might say that i have cost them to lose $$$$. so really, what's the correct answer since i have no idea!!needless to say, i didnt get the job(s))
-how well did u performed?
-did you managed to carry out the task?
-time management
-most importantly, your level of confidence
i might fare quite well in oral interviews,
coz i think i have a quite good command of English (its not THAT good really. but people will just assumed that you can speak very well if u seem comfortable with the language and if you can pronounce words very well regardless of the grammatical errors. my grammar sucks)
and i am confident when im speaking to...... strangers(in this case,the interviewer. i tend to get nerbous talking to people who knows me. im weird that way:P)
lets just say, i can goreng2 pretty well. even in assignments.
i guess thats why i've won this scholarship in the first place.
not because of my results really.
ok back to the main point(i really need to organise my thoughts. i just couldnt stop rambling.ptff)
when you have to do the REAL work
thats when reality hits you
you can goreng as much as you like
but when you are working, you are responsible for your job
and for me, a teacher has HUGE responsibilities
because the future of the younger generation, the country etc is in the teacher's hand
if you're a bad teacher, your students will be bad as well
if you're a bad ENGLISH teacher, your students will be very BAD in English as well
which is not what i hope for
as student teachers
lets just say we're still young, naive, innocent, full of great ideas and potentials
we all vowed to make a difference in the education system(that the main reaon the government sent you abroad you thickheads.not to just travel around.but to learn diff perspectives, diff ways of learning that are suitable to be adapted in our country)
at least for me, i am all up to adapt a new approach of teaching English in classroom
I have so many great ideas and activities thats swimming in my head
I am excited to try things that my teachers never did before
I just couldnt wait to have my own classroom and do all these new activities that we've just learned here
Lets just say, its all in the past.
after today, I've realised that it is not that simple
i've discovered that i am not ready yet to manage a classroom
when im in front of the class, i get very nervous
all the great ideas or great teacher talk that i've planned to use just evaporated
i stood there, looking like a freak
speechless
looking very terrified indeed
when i read my feedback forms, they all said that the activity planned was great, enjoyable, intergrated, meet the goals yada yada yada
BUT i get really low marks for classroom management
my instructions were not clear
i didnt engaged the students very well
my material( the last minute handout) was underdeveloped
my time management was off
i did not give good feedback to the students' responses
and so on
so i get the hint.
i already have these great ideas.
they all agreed that the lesson plan was awesome
however, the problem was MY OWN TEACHING SKILLS
the major problem was me me me me me me me ME!!!
i could plan all these fantastic, creative lessons
but in the end, could i carry out the lesson as planned??
at this rate, NO.
for now, NO.
~SIGH~
who said being a teacher is a piece of cake?
this picture is perfect in expressing how hopeless, heartbroken and dejected i am right now. it is by no means a racist or degrading picture. i am a student teacher. i am trained to be culturally inclusive and sensitive ;)Quote of the day:
Hope is the thing with feathers
-Emily Dickinson-
Today I am grateful for...
having more time to improve myslef Insya Allah. I will learn and practise more to become a better teacher (who knows that i am this enthusiastic about teaching? i was surprised myself.LOL). What I've experienced today was a definite eye opener. I am blessed to realised this before its too late. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.
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