I wonder

Circle of life

My grandmother has been sick for a few weeks now

Since she's pretty much bed- ridden now,

I was asked to purchase a few things for her which made me realized that life is indeed a cycle, and in the end you will end up like how you were when you were a baby

1.wheelchair

Purchasing a wheelchair is just like purchasing a stroller/pram

You have to consider if the wheelchair is easy to fold, not that heavy/bulky, formidable, sturdy anddddd doesnt consume a lot of space in your boot, just like an ideal stroller right?

2. Diapers

Since you can't move as much and you can't seem to control your bladder anymore, the best option is to wear diapers

Now your children and grandchildren are responsible to change you, clean you..

Which is very humbling I must say..

3. Feeding

There was a time where my grandmother couldnt swallow anything solid

So my mom basically had to blend everything, just like what she used to feed us when we were little

Not only that, my grandma couldnt even feed herself, so we had to spoonfeed her

Just like a baby..

4. Tantrum

Maybe because she's sick and uncomfortable, so the grandmother is cranky and throws tantrum most of the time

So we have to be patient and let her be

5. Inablity to form a complete sentence

My grandmother is forgetful and well, she's old. So she thinks she has formed a complete sentence when she only uttered a few words

So it is up to us to guess what she meant but when the maid couldnt understand her, there goes no 4. Hehee

All in all, the circle of life is real

We must always remember that we won't always be who we are all the time

So do take care of yourself

If possible, you don't want to trouble other people in the future

Things will be especially hard when you're overweight

So take this as a motivation to keep your body fit and slim hahaha

And do as much as ibadah as you can when you are young and able to do so

After all, ibadah org muda lebih bernilai dari yang tua

This is also a reminder for us that we are responsible to look after our parents

They have been taking good care of us

When the time comes for us to take care of them, be patient

God is giving us an opportunity to serve them, to gain pahala

Taking care of old people is very very very challenging

But your parents are your own responsibilty

If you love them, take care of them

That's the least you could do

Things unseen

Recently, 

We had to "berubat" for some reasons

And they discovered that I actually have "something" all along which would explain a lot of my behaviour and well, my personality in general

Which makes me wonder, 

Who am I actually?

Was I really myself all this while?

I'm still very sceptical

But there's too many unexplainable events and "coincidences" that has been happening lately

And i dont think it's fair to blame something else for your own doing

I mean, if my period is irregular,

I would say it's because I havent been praticing healthy lifestyle especially since I'm overweight 😏

And well if I'm always moody and have quite a temper, isn't that a sign that I need to learn some anger management?

And kalau dh malas tu, mmg sbb u malas la kan? Hahaha