bukan psl cinta tiga segi ok
after TE and after returning back to work (if I havent mentioned it before, I now work as an after school care supervisor. I look after 20+ kids in a primary school from 3-6pm almost everyday. the job doesnt pay much coz the bus fare is riddiculously expensive but the experience and opportunity given is priceless) I've realized what make us (the Asians in general) and them (the West) so different.
obviously our culture is different but the most important thing is, in our culture, we RESPECT each other, especially the elders notably our parents and teachers.
we even respect our "seniors"who might be just slightly older than us, that is why we have the terms like "abang", "kakak", "senpai","sunbae" "noona", "oppa" etc.
respect in terms of age, status etc
when you respect someone, it shows in your attitude and behaviour.
right?
while on TE, i've heard many comments on the kids-how they behave really badly, how hard it is to control them, and most importantly how disrespectful they are to the teacher. I witnessed those behaviour myself.
When I return back to work after 2 week break for TE,i was astounded to find the kids at my workplace to behave really awful. They become a lot worst than before. They didnt listen to a single word the staff said, heck, they even mocked us back.
there's a big difference on behaving like a child (as in behavng like lil adorable monsters) and being disrespectful. and for me, they are being disrespectful. you know, like those kids in Supernanny.
now now, why do u think such spoiled rotten brats in Supernanny exists?
It may have to do something to do with the culture.
You see, they dont believe that smacking the children is the right thing to do. It's considered as abusive mind you. Violent to be exact. So in their eyes, my harmless parents are violent creatures coz they smacked us if we did something wrong (e.g- pernah ditampar oleh emak kerana mulut celupar sgt -__-" )
and you're not supposed to raise your voice to them.lemak bukan? (if the kids screamed at the parents, harus bsabar jela. kamu berani nk jerit kt mak kamu?)
or asking your ill-behaved student to stand on the chair during lesson is definitely a big no-no.
so instead of taking any physical action, they deal with their kids using reason.
ok, i must admit that reasoning is a good way to teach your kids.
besides highlighting that their action is wrong, you also get the kids to think and understand why their behaviour is unacceptable.
but then again,
kids are kids.
they dont really listen (do u expect a 5 year old with short attention span to really pay attention?)
and they dont remember.
they need structure.
they need something else more firm.
they need to see the effect of their actions.
i dont entirely agree that punishment is the solution to everything.
of course not.
the first step should be reasoning.
punishing the children without explaining the reason behind the action is just plain stupid.
you're mentally abusing the child as well coz he/she might think that you might hate them and that's why they're being punished (ok, i read too much books)
but if reasoning doesnt work, then u can get physical.
ala, jentik je sudahla.
as a reminder not to repeat it anymore.
(ah, my dad sergah sikit je pn dh tobat xnk wat lg ;P )
but here,
where respecting the elders are not important,
and the children were given too much rights,
controlling them proves to be a problem.
kurang ajar org melayu ckp
even my workmate, a chinese malaysian lady complained that it's hard to control the kids coz takde budi bahasa. xde sopan santun.
yeah i know, sopan sgt kah kite ni pun?
berbudi bahasa sgt ke?
tapi one thing for sure, seurban mane pn kamu,
seblond mane pn rambut kamu,
tp if ur an Asian,
kamu pasti akan respect org yg lebih tua dari kamu
i must admit,
this is a broad generalisation. it doesnt applies to everyone.
and you can say that i'm actually biased to my own culture.
ok then, this is just my personal point of view.
those kids are driving me nuts! i was thinking of quitting th job, but when they come and give me a hug or say that the highlight of their day is when they get to meet me after school, you know how your mere existence matters to them..
p/s- ma, dlu ma slalu ckp time kakak tgh degil (of course i'm no angel myself =P) "tunggula bile dh ade anak sndiri, bru paham mcmane mama rase". i dont think i have to have my own children to understand what u mean ma xD
