how interesting are you?

ok so the new trimester has started for two weeks already.
as usual, the tutorials begin this week, week 2.
i was frustrated to get not so enthusiastic (to put it mildly)tutors this time.
i dont know about my tutor for sociology yet coz i wont be having any tutorial until week 4 (which i find it amusing) but overall, i can say that i find my tutors this time less impressive.
sigh.
i dont think i like any of my lecturers nor tutors this time.
oh wait, except for chris bowden.
as always, he's awesome!
but maybe its too early for me to judge them.

anyway,
as usual ( this should be the favourite phrase of the day :P),
the first tutorial is when you get to know your other tutorial mates.
and of course, you have to introduce yourself.
dont get me wrong,
i have no problems with introducing myself coz:
1. they prolly wouldnt even remember my name coz it sounded weird to them ( they couldnt even pronounced it right anyway)
2. as there would be other msian girls in the class, it would be harder for them to distinguish each one of us. they prolly think all of us who wear the hijab look the same anyway. so even if you see them outside, they prolly wouldnt even noticed you unless you greet them first.

but what i dont like about introducing myself is when the tutor insists that you should tell at least one interesting fact about yourself.
INTERESTING fact about me.
what's interesting about me?
how do you define interesting?
some girl claim that she has 30 cousins, so that should be interesting.
but for most of us msians, we dont find it all that interesting since most of us prolly have more than 30 cousins.
so if that'snot interesting to you, then what is?
i've never travelled around the world in 80 days.
i dont have a twin in the same class.
i am not fluent in 5 different languages.
i cannot do weird stuff like pushing my nose with my tongue or anything like it.
so then, what's interesting about me?
i know that everyone is special in his or her own way.
i know that no 2 people are the same.
i couldnt say that what's interesting about me is that my fingerprint wont match anyone in this room could i?
that would be a really dumb thing to say.

hurm.
so, just ask yourself these questions.
what's interesting about you?
how do you justify that?
what makes you different than everyone else who's in the same room as you?


but hey, dont be too hard on yourselves.
remember, everyone is special ;)


Quote of the day:
i would like to quote one o my favourite song from barney, the purple dinosaur (yes.i like barney)

You are special - you really are
You’re the only one like you
There isn’t another in the whole wide world
Who can do the things you do
Because you are special- special
Everyone is special
Everyone in his or her own way
You' re important so you really are
You' re the only one of you
The world is better just because you are here
you should know that we love you

Yes you re special -special
Everyone is special
Everyone in his or her own way!

walking down the memory lane

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.
-Pierce Harris, Atlanta Journal-





it's been a very looonggg holiday.
2 beloved friends came to wellington.
12 days well spend with my girls,
miss R and miss A.

i've met those girls in KMS.
and hanging out with them,
with miss R especially, brings a lot of memory back.

you see, miss R used to be my roommate (so she knows the juicy stuff about me.haha).
and of course we had our ups and downs but we did had a lot of fun back then ( imiss those days when having a roommate used to be fun and exciting!huhu)

reminiscing about the past with her,
laughing about the good old days or what we called "zaman kegemilangan POOS",
(hey, ak ahli setia. dulu, kini selamanya. idup poos!it's pronounced as po'os btw:P)
anyway,
reminiscing the past is another form of self-discovery.
miss R recalls,among others, the times when i used to sing in the morning (that indicates that i'm in a good mood. which is rare coz im not a morning person), and the "accidents" i have with the iron (where the whole floor could practically hear my screams about my tudung or whatever that i have burnt that day. believe me, there's a lot of clothes that i have to throw away back then :P), gossiping about the boys in her class (or the class next to hers :P) and about how bubbly and loud i was back then.

upon hearing that,
i took a moment to reflect on myself.
i am not the same person as i was before.
i do not sing in the morning anymore.
i do not put holes through my clothes anymore.
i am not interested to gossip about the boys anymore.
and i realized,
i am not as bubbly or as loud as i used to be.
well, i am loud(at times), but not like before.
now, i am more known for my mood swings more than anything else(sigh..)

well, people change.
after miss R left kms,
i got my heart broken.
i had new perspectives on friends.
i went to work.
i got fatter.
these things change me.
the environment changed.
my needs and priorities changed.
the types of books and movies i like changed.
and oops! i've become a slightly different person.
some people might say that i have grown up (but i dont really believe that crap. i'm still daddy's girl at heart :P)

the thing is ,
no matter who you are in the past,
you'll just have to accept it.
there are many things in the past that i hate and would like to forget,
but you can never change the past.
you cannot run away from the past.
you are, what you are now, because of the past (i know, it's such a cliche..)

in many ways,
i think,
i have become a slightly better person.
the old me would still be wearing tight outfit ALL THE TIME (note the difference.hehe) or would not pray until the last minute.
i've acquired new skills since then.
i've gained new perspectives on life from all those odd jobs i've done.

so, thank you miss R and miss A for the visit.
i'm sorry for not entertaining you guys enough what with the bad weather and no extra cash lying around huhu.
but your visits helps me to discover and appreciate myself a bit more.
coz in the end,
what's left are just me,myself and I.

Quote of the day:
Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. -Saul Bellow-

Today I am grateful for...
my friends. though we're miles apart (that including those of you who live in everton or hadfield terrace :P) and haven't seen each other for a long time, it's great to know that we're still friends and still hit it off like we used to.
"absence makes the heart grow fonder". not "out of sight, out of mind". and for those who have to bear with my sudden and extreme mood swings, thank you. i'm truly sorry if i ever offended any of you yet you guys still stick with me (like you have any choice.haha.i am extremely thankful for these great,wonderful,exciting, patient friends of mine. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.

the stupidest thing i've ever done

well
there's so many stupid things i've done
but yeah,
this one is on the top of the list
remember me telling that i'm miss typo?
well, i'm not just miss typo
but i'm also miss-slalu-tersalah-anta-txt-kt-org-laen
which is very stupid
and guess what
someone usually will get hurt by it
coz usually
the oops! txt is always a bad bad bad txt about that person
hahaha
guess Tuhan saje nk tunjuk kot
x baek mngumpat
hee

examples of the oops!txt
1. "ko tau x ape minah ckp kt ak td? smpai ati die ckp cmtu weii blablabla"
and the txt was received by minah herself
2. "kesian imah wei. die kne bla3"
and thus imah la yg dpt txt tu
3. "phm2 jela senah tu cmne. pelik sket lalalalala"
ye sesedap rase je ckp kt org cmtu pastu ko send kt senah trus kn..
4. "ak x ske la joyah tu.. die slalu bla3"
well, u get the drift..

i dont know why
but it happened quite a number of times
and guess what
of course la there will be some "crisis" after that
the 2007 incident is still fresh on my mind.hohooo

imagine what would the text recipient feel??
and imagine how would i feel when i've discovered that i accidentally sent the message to the wrong person??
it feels like..
like bungee jumping.
scares the hell out of me!!!!

the thing is
it happened again
just few hours earlier
i ACCIDENTALLY sent another stupid message
its not really a bad message at all but if u suddenly get that kind of txt, u'll get mad too.
lost in translation.

therefore,
i would like to realllllllyyy aplogise
to the person i sent the txt to (seriously i didnt notice at all that i've sent the txt to u until u reply it back to me)
i didnt mean to hurt/insult/put u down
it's nothing like that
i was just plainly expressing my thoughts to the other person
though u might think about it the other way round

guess i should really learn to keep unnecessary thoughts to myself
if what i think doesnt benefit anyone,
it's better for me to keep it to myself
just look at what happened now?

guess the process "utk berubah ke arah kebaikan" would be a reallyy loooonnnggg one
(org baek x anta txt mctu kt sesape pn wahai the dreamer. huhu)


~sigh~

aku ingin menjadi lebih baik

Alhamduilllah
selamat pulang dari Christchurch
ini kali kedua ak ke sana
ak rase, dlm byk2 tpt kt NZ ni,
ak paling suke Christchurch
mungkin kerana
terase lebih "oversea" di sana
sila ke sana
u'll get what i mean
haha
will definitely go there again
at least one more time
wahai cik E si gadis lomo,
pastikan ko ke sana lagi dgn ak juge
ak mahu jd modelmu
haha

kali ni ke Christchurch sempena Jalinan Ukhuwwah New Zealand (JUNZ)
sebelum ke sana
serius,
ak sgt nervous
sgt3
will i fit in?
adakh bju ak appropriate?
ah, biasela
bnde2 remeh ni ak pikir
haish.

ape yg ak rase/dpt from this prog...

- berada d kalangan org2 yg hebat menyedarkan ak betapa ceteknya ilmu ak. bukan calang2 org yg ak jmpe. ramai yg sdg wat PhD etc sedangakn umur diorg mudaaaa lg. umur 24 dh ade PhD. sdangkan kitorang ni, umur 24 bru nk grad. degree. terase sperti nk marah MARA di situ (sila tanya dak2 KMS kalau nk tahu penjelasan lanjut). tp kalau pikir balik, patut bersyukur, sekurang2nya, ade penaja, ade kesmpatan nk blaja kt tpt org juge. bukan senang. maka bersyukurlah. tapi yg pasti, setelah jmpe mereka2 ni, ak sgt rase, sperti mahu melanjutkn pelajaran lg. kalu sblum ni ak kata, ak x pnh terfikir pn, skrg ni, ak sgt mahu. ak rase malu, asyik mengeluh psl assignment. x ade ape yg senang kn. rakan2, sile jgn mengeluh pasal assignment, exams, kne byk baca la apela. mcamne nk maju kalau asyik mngeluh? kalau kita yg bru 2nd yr ni pn dh bising bukan main, mampukah kita nk ke tahap yg lebih tinggi? (diharapkan penulis sdar diri n berterusan sdar diri :P)

- ak rase sgt malu juge bile teringat entry ak psl ak bnci maths. haha. cuba kite imbas kembali cendekiawan2 Islam zaman dahulu. mereka bukan hanya pakar dlam satu bidang bukan? rata2nya, masing2 mempunyai ilmu dlm semua aspek. xdela bahasa je, segala ilmu sains, kira2 etc pn dikuasai juge. kalau kite pk scr logik pn, mmg patut la pn kn. mane bole berat sebelah je kn. x balance. semua benda pn berkait. kalau hanya pndai menulis tp x pandai mengira pn x bole juge kn?

- berada d kalangan org2 yg baik menyebabkn anda rase utk mnjadi lebih baik. org baik x akn judge kamu. malah, mereka terima kamu dgn tangan terbuka. mereka x ckp2 kosong. mereka juge x bergosip atau mengumpat (SEDARALAH WAHAI "the dreamer"!.haha).bukankah itu lebih baik. dari segi pemakaian pula, berada d kalangan mereka mnyebabkn kmu rase melabuhkan tudung itu mudah dan berpakaian menutup aurat itu indah. serius. ade je pakaian yg longgar n labuh yg bergaya.lagipun, sgtlah selesa. xde kamu nk tarik2 baju kamu tu ke bwh all the time, or rase sgt conscious terhadap bonjolan or lemak2 kamu seperimana yg kamu rase taktala memakai bju or seluar yg ketat. heee. ayuhai rakan2, marilah berubah.elakkan dr memakai yg muat2, yg sendat2, yg ketat2, yg padat2~ lebih manis bukan?

- main ibu ayam-musang / pukul bpe datuk harimau utk mereka yg telah lanjut usia dlm kuantiti yg ramai adalah merbahayakan. LOL

- pemilihan penceramah agama/pendakwah adalah penting. kadang2, org akn ade persepsi yg salah terhadap Islam kalau cara penyampaian penceramah tu salah. ak ingat lagi kt KMS, ada ckgu2 ak yg blah dr dewan sbb x tahan dgn penceramah tu. isunya, psl buang anak kot. tp yg dsalahkn oleh pnceramah tu, asyik2 perempuan. dkutuknye perempuan bukan2. dgunakan bahasa yg kurang enak. apakah itu?lg2 cikgu2 ak ni ala2 feminist, sape nk dgr beb? ak pn sentap gk time tu. Islam x bgitu bukan?Islam itu kn indah. Islam juge x merendah2kn wanita. kalau nk berdakwah kne berhemah.n sy suke dgn cara pnympaian dan juge isi kndungan ceramah ustaz F. walaupun sy asyk tertido time bengkel pagi. haha

- Islam itu syumul. Islam itu menyeluruh. Islam itu cantik, indah. Ak bersyukur dilahirkan beragama Islam. ak bersyukur, dibukakn hati utk pergi usrah. dlu, ak xnkla join usrah2 ni.sbb ak rase ak bukan la baik sgt. ak rase, ak rase, ak x bole nk fit in la dgn org2 usrah ni.ak sgt beryukur, usrah wellington ni, x rigid, x fanatik. usrah cni mudah,hanya seminggu skali,sabtu/ahad, tp inputnya banyak. ak rase, byk bnda yg ak bljar sejak join usrah ni. IA, diamalkanlah ilmu2 tu. aeperti point sbelumnya, pemilihan naqibah atau kakak usrah juge adalh sgt penting. ak rase,ak tertarik nk join, krn akak2 ni bukn sperti akak2 usrah yg ak knal dlu. mereka sgt easy going, independent, active n open minded. dan mereka juge sgt bijak dlm sgale hal. kalau kamu tahu tentang Usul 20 tp kamu x tahu yg San Francisco adelah nama tpt or kamu xtahu cara penggunaan microwave yg betul, jgn harap sy nk respect kamu.apetah lg nk join group usrah kamu. Islam itu syumul.Jgnlah smpai xtahu lsg hal dunia. lagi satu, tolonglah jgn asyik nk cte psl isu basi yg x berkesudahan sperti isu pakai tudung n couple. gunalah pndekatan yg berbeza. Islam bukan psl pkai tudung je kn? kalau kite pakai approach lain, yg lebih memudahkn kite memahami ajaran Islam, iA, isu pkaia tudung or couple ni xkn jd isu punye. kalau kita pham ajaran Islam yg betul, tentu kita akan patuh kn? and x kn persoalkn knp kene buat semua tu or dilarang mmbuat ini. sbb semuanya jelas n bersebab.

- JUNZ tahun dpn patut asingkan laki n pmpuan. susahla nk jaga pndangan ni. selain itu, sgt x selesa. lagi2 ak yg dpt bilik hujunnggg yg dkat dgn bilik ikhwat. oh, sgt3 x selesa bila nk kua masuk bilik.

- pndangan mata harus dijaga. kalau x, mula2lah berlaku insiden2 yg x sepatutnya. sperti TERlepas ckp bnde2 yg kamu ptut ckp dlm hati (wink wink cik E :p) atau ternampak orang yg kamu x patut nampak, kemudian kamu meroyan. hahaha.

- sy menyesal dlu blaja bhs arab main2. lpstu tuka skola sbb xnk amik arab. xnk cacat result pmr. apekah. hahaha. skrg mnyesal. sbb hadis susah nk phm. bc Quran, lg la. agk sedih di situ.

- sy kagum mereka2 yg x kisah berkorban tenaga mahupun wang utk tujuan ini. berdakwah. berjihad. semoga Allah memberkati kalian. sy kagum dgn mereka yg berkhidmat sbagai tukang masak. sebagai driver. sebagai pngurus prog etc. terima kasih kalian.

- oh x lupe juge. lg satu bnde, ktorg agk amazed dgn aka2 yg dh kawen.muda2 lg woo. x sangka dh kawen. dan juge mereka2 yg dh bertunang etc. sy jeles dgn anda. tp xpelah, sy rase, sy x bersedia lg untuk membina keluarga yg baik. sy harus baiki diri sy mnjadi individu muslim yg baik dulu.(dan juge mendapat calon yg baik. huhu)

wahhh..
pjg gile ak tulis.
hahaha
kesimpulannya,
ak bersyukur sgt2
dpt join prog tu wpun dlu cm nk x nk je pegi
time kasey kpd sponsor2 tiket sy cik Kak M n Kak W,
smoge dirahmati Allah, insya Allah.

JUNZ adalh lebih baik dr bersatu games.
bersatu games x "bersatu" pn ok.
dr JUNZ, ak knal la juge org2 lua welly
n mnjdi lebih rapat dgn org2 welly yg dulunya hanya kenal muka je :)

ak sgt berharap
ak istiqamah dlm memperbaiki diri
rakan2
doakan ak
n sokonglah ak.